The Squirrel Archive
Since I wrote with an alias for most of my pieces in this publication, there's no easy categorization. Thus, this page is born!
If You Hate Valentine’s Day, You’re Just Bad at Being Single.
"If you hate Valentine’s Day simply because you’re single, you’re not doing it right. I’m here to tell you that you need to get those rose thorns out of your ass and buy yourself flowers."
Future Nostalgia
"The year is 2033, and I’m back in my childhood bedroom visiting my parents for the holidays." Read More
Re: Student Ambassador Uniform Changes
"They get up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays to blow up balloons and have small talk. One may consider them crazy, but (bias aside) I think student ambassadors may be some of SU’s strongest soldiers." Read More
How to Watch Horror Movies 101
"It is a dark and stormy night. The wind is howling against your window and the bare trees paint ghastly shadows across your room. Your air unit that still has not switched from AC to heat sends a dusting of goosebumps over your arms."
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
"In the wee years of 2014, a small group of young college students blessed the campus by publishing the first issue of The Squirrel."
Give Us Your Money!!!!
"One thing about college kids is they're going to miss their moms. Alpha Sigma Oedipus is a philanthropic society that strives to connect young men with the females of the future."
Here Lies TikTok... Or Does It
"I was supposed to die. I was content with being locked away from the country that embraced me the tightest. As the iron gates creaked shut, I could hear the faint cry of the eagle serenading me into my eternal slumber. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes." Read More